Everything's Just Wonderful

Authoritative Support.

2009-10-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

From the wonderful Mr. Ebert, pertaining to the issue of Racebending in Avatar.

Q. Regarding the upcoming M. Night Shyamalan vehicle "The Last Airbender," what do you think about the whitewashing of the production so that all of the original Asian cultural landmarks, architecture, philosophy, and costume design are being retained while they cast white kids to play the main characters?
Arlene C. Harris

A. Wrong. The original series "Avatar: The Last Airbender" was highly regarded and popular for three seasons on Nickelodeon. Its fans take it for granted that its heroes are Asian. Why would Paramount and Shyamalan go out of their way to offend these fans? There are many young Asian actors capable of playing the parts.

Short, sweet, and to the point.
(Sweet, sweet "creditable" vidication.)

I'll consider this my Christmas present from Hollywood.
(HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!)

~JT

Things I need in my life:

2009-10-01T02:07:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This blogpost contains the wishlist of a shopping-deprived girl.

[Shoutout to Dangerous Negro.com for the amazing (refreshing) designs.

Oh Lord (Reprise)

2009-09-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

Oh Kanye. Kanye, Kanye, Kanye.

ALTHOUGH; I do agree with Kanye.
Beyonce's video went BIG. and let's face it, Taylor Swift's video theme has been done like 1,000 times over. (Saving Jane's Girl Next Door" anyone?)

Still Ye, that was cold.

No My Good Sir, You Lie.

2009-09-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've all seen the wtfery.

Sir,

Your actions during President Obama's speech to Congress and this Nation were uncouth, unbecoming, and completely out of line.

That was not equivelent to a disagreeing "boo." That a (false) accusation and slanderization of our President's character.

Your embarassing, shameful decorum (your behavior during a speech given by the President of the United States, during a joint session of Congress) was completely inappropriate. One would think a man in your position would harbor decency, respect, professionalism, and political education; obviously, this is not the case.

Calling our Commander in Chief a liar, in the middle of his speech airing on live National television deserves something far more resounding than a retrospective apology, that deserves a resignation.

If you can't control yourself during your POTUS's speech, you most certainly cannot be expected to make decisions that would influence your state, let alone the country.

I do however, congratulate you on your ability to further the trend of the GOP presenting themselves as single minded masses with no goals beyond opposing Democrats and any ideas they propose. (I'm sure people of your caliber find it a much better passtime than bettering the country.)

P.S. Section 246. Read it.

If you too feel the need to share your thoughts with Congressman Joe Wilson, feel free to email him here or contact his office at (803) 939-0041, (843) 521-2530, and (202) 225-2452.

~J.T.

Oh lawd.

2009-09-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

To fully explain this fail, I'll turn to Racewire,
as usual.

Now, I apologize. I apologize for the fact that this wtfery is tied to my state of residence.

Here, my favorite quote:

"A story on the Golden State Party, a self-proclaimed pro-white group pushing for political representation in California, pulled about 285 comments and nearly 600 participants the online poll.

More than 400 readers said they would not join ranks with the GSP, while 157 readers said they favored their political views. Thirty-three readers said they weren’t sure about the new group."

Uhm?

Isn't that what we had with the Bush Admin anyways?

You know, even considering the 26% came from those that were polled, that number is still too large for me to be happy. Hell, 26% of any population supporting something like that scares me. If I'm sitting in a room with ninety-nine other people and someone proposes such a whack idea, and twenty-six people go "WELL HELL YEA. THAT SOUNDS DARN SMART!" [shotguns and confederate flags in tow, I'm sure] I'd be freaked.

But at least I get the secruity of knowing I don't live in the same state as- Ohwait.

Damnit.

~JT

My haitus, she is cracked.

2009-09-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Life has been tapdancing on my patience recently [read: job. portfolio. biology and statistics tests. obliviously rosy-lensed business teacher. busybusybusy] so I've been...away.

And alot of racefail, and sexfail, and fail of all natures has occured [Skip Gates drama, healthcare reform drama, movieracefail, network decay, and of course, the great "Livejournal Fandom Survey" that I'll probably end up ranting about soon.] that I commented on elsewhere, but didn't address here. Basically, I was out of spoons, and unable to seperate the intellectual side from the RAAAGE.

But then, a little nugget of wtf gold was tossed at my head by none other than MSNBC.
CNN covers it here sans obv. racism of course.

Racialicious has a good video, plus some well needed venting space.

Apparently learning isn't fundamental anymore because very few people seems to understand socialism and communism beyond being loaded language for scare tactics and fear mongering :I Perhaps people are shouting "SOCIALISM!" in a projection of the retarded Marxist fears some have towards the POTUS? (in Marxist theory, socialism follows capitalism in the slippery transition slope of society into communism. And God knows America hates commies. *eyeroll*)

I'm just trying to decide if the deliberate, unfaltering ignorance, stupidity, or the blatant lies are the wrost aspect.

Who would bitch about telling kids to stay in school?

[Sidenote: My favorite quote from MSNBC was the anti-speech woman going "Doesn't he have anything better to do than talk to a bunch of schoolchildren?"
I KNOW RIGHT? Future of the country. PSSSSH, who needs to tell them to stay in school? So 'vious, amirite?]

And can someone explain to me how this speech about staying in school turns into "indoctrination" of a socialist calibur?

Someone? Anyone?

I suppose it's the OOGABOOGA BLACK MAN they've got the problem with then.
Ah blatant racism, you never cease to amaze.

Seriously, this isn’t something controversial (in the eyes of some at least) like a public health care option. It’s telling CHILDREN TO WORK HARD IN SCHOOL, AND TO DO WELL. Who the hell can object to that????

You know what? Racewire says it better:

They also correctly point out that the picture works just as well without the speech bubbles.

[i.e. This guy was obviously a better example of instilling good morals and work ethic in kids. Yeah, the guy that graduated with a C average. Mhm, the one who blinks at the cue cards instead of reading them. Yeah, him.]

Ugh, Somebody go amp up my President's security >:I

Good thing Everything's Just Wonderful!

~JT

Oh my God.

2009-06-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

Speechless.
Stunned.
Sad.

This is insane, like...surreal.

Mama-Anime chronicled it far better than I can.

As odd as it sounds, his name was one of my first words.

Sad day.

Bless his family <3

RIP Michael Jackson; King of Pop <3 You will never be forgotten!

~JT <3

CNN's coverage is pissing me off too. Between this and the Iran-coverage failure, I'm pretty much over them. I'll watch Anderson Cooper and that's it.

I'm not even sure what Avatar is going for anymore.

2009-04-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

Alternative Title: "In which the Earth Kingdom becomes Token-Land!"

I'm updating with quite the shattered brain right now ._.

First off, if you haven't already read this/been keeping up with MANAA's efforts to contact Paramount pictures about the fail casting, I'd suggest you read this. (I love MANAA; they write such wonderful zing! letters *-* I'm inspried.)

Here's a basic rundown:
1) Paramount announces fail casting
2) MANAA (Media Action Network for Asian Americans) sends a letter requesting a meeting/response about the failcasting
3) Paramount response A MONTH AND A WEEK later, with one of the most roundabout, circular-non-arguement letters I've ever read (so failtastic, I'll post it under this)
4) MANAA response with the above intellegent, strongly worded, zing!m*thaf*cka letter.

Here's Paramounts respnse letter:
[Italics are Paramounts words, ver batum. The snarky bold is mine.]

March 25, 2009

Dear Mr. Aoki,

Thank you for your letter and interest in our film.

Here is the first of many dodges. "Thanks for your...uhm...interest!"

As devoted fans of the original series, our goal is to create a film that will not only live up to the expectations of the television series’ fan base, but also expand it to a world-wide audience in ways that only a full-length motion picture can offer.

Expanding to a worldwide audience = whitewashing the heroes and adding ethnic!background!flava! :nod:

From the outset of the creative process, the Producers and the Director have envisioned embodying the Airbender universe with a large and ethnically diverse cast that represents many different heritages and cultures from all corners of the globe.

This representation however, is going to epitomize cultural appropriation. You know, the deal where we inject White actors into the heroic/savior/positive roles in order to "diversify" the cast. Then we add a Brown antagonist. And some other brown people in the secondary roles. That's diverse and equal, right?

The Director’s vision for this film is one of world, influenced and inspired by the Asian undertones of the series, and that is both diverse and inclusive in the make up of the four nations represented in the film’s cinematic world.

Undertone...is an understatement. Names, calligraphy, food, architecture, style, fashion, and appearances are pretty damn Asian.

Early casting includes an Indian actor, born in Mumbai and raised in the UK and the US; a Persian actor born in Tehran and raised in the UK, Switzerland and the US; a Maori actor born and raised in New Zealand; a Korean-American actor, born and raised in Chicago; an American actress of Italian, French and Mexican heritage; among several others of varied nationalities from around the world.

SEE YOU MEAN, MEAN PROTESTORS!?! WE HAVE FIVE CHARACTERS OF COLOR! WHY AREN'T YOU ~~SHUTTING UP~~ HAPPY?

Five non-white cast members does not magically make it okay to discriminate against actors of colors for Aang, Sokka, and Katara. Which was the initial problem. Sprinkling peope of color into the Earth Kingdom isn't helping; it's only making the racefail more obvious.

The four nations represented in the film reflect not one community, but the world’s citizens. These societies will be cast from a diversity of all races and cultures.
In particular, the Earth Kingdom will be cast with Asian, East Asian and
Africans.

AFRICANS. OMG GAIS, I CAN ACTUALLY BE IN THIS MOVIE!1ONE! AS A BACKGROUND CHARACTER! IN THE EARTH KINGDOM! WHOOOOOOO.

Seriously though, this bothers me on a ton of levels. As in, the original Avatar, which was decidedly Pan Asian [i.e. hella-many-different-places-in-Asia] is considered by these people, to be "one community." Like, one lump sum, as opposed to different cultures. Japan =/= China =/= Tibet =/= Korea =/= Philipines =/= Inuit.

Also, Why are all the minorities shoehorned into the Earth Kingdom. If we want to get technical, and wanted to invole "Africans" (not "African Americans" mind you, we are apperently importing actors from Zimbabwe.) "Africans" could have played the darker skinned heroes. But those dark heroes are now White. Wtf?

With this global perspective in mind, we believe we can best honor the true themes, ethos and fantastical nature of the Airbender stories and best capture the spirit and scale of the series to appeal to its worldwide fans.

Our challenge and commitment to our film audience is to harness all the elements that have made the series the incredible phenomenon it is.

Erm...is sneaky discrimination against actors of color one of these mysterious "elements?

We look forward to introducing you to THE LAST AIRBENDER next summer.
*Blank stare at the boldfaced irony of that last statement* ._____.

Sincerely,

The Producers
What? Who the hell? Like George Clooney and whoever else was in that movie? Way to be ambigous :|.

I am bothered on so many levels by this.

"In particular, the Earth Kingdom will be cast with Asian, EAst Asian, and Africans."

And with this, my lovelies, the camels back SHATTERED.

Paramount is including every ethnicity under the sun to basically say "SEE? WE'RE DIVERSE! LOOKIT ALL THE ASIANS/EAST ASIANS/AFRICANS!"

I'm going to quote jedifreac on this one.

Just because something is diverse, doesn't mean it isn't racist. Before the Civil rights movement, buses were diverse; plenty of people of color rode in the back.

Anyone want to point of the problem here? :iconflirtplz:

It might be a little hard since the letter manages to avoid discussing any of the concerns that MANAA, the East West Players, and or any letter sent to them by the fans have brought up. Instead, we get a list of five actors of color (no names of roles, although we can assume they meant Zhao/Zuko/Ozai/Iroh/ and Suki or Yue) and tries to pretend that adding actors of color will somehow make up for the fact that they "whitewashed" 3/4 of the main cast.

At the same time, Paramount's letter still manages to show some of the cultural ~~idiocy~~ incompetence held by "the producers."

The Earth Kingdom will be "cast with Asian, East Asian, and Africans" (I turned off my inner grammar Nazi to read that. because seriously, that makes no sense.) is odd. Unless we're imprting extras I guess they mean "Asian American, East Asian American, and African Americans?" Afterall, I like to believe that us non-Whites are considered Americans too. :p

I'm also getting some sadistic kick from the fact that Paramount must have used the word "diversity" over 9000 times. Too bad the actors of color are in the secondary roles, eh?

It's funny, when I brought this ordeal up to my sociology teacher, she pointed out the UCLA study, that stated 69% of roles in Hollywood are exclusively reserved for white actors. [Racebending Livejournal also mentions this, and adds that the professor who wrote the brief said:

"It's sort of like being happy that you're able to ride in the back of the bus. We are supposed to be a society that's committed to equality for all people, and to say, 'Well, at least you're on the bus, you're just at the back' — we would never say that to Rosa Parks. And by the same token, I don't think that actors of color and women should have to ride at the back of the bus. I don't think we should be grateful for that. I think that we have a lot more work to do to have true equality."

All in all, Paramount's "diversity" is NOT the same as Equality or Fairness. Not by a longshot.

Just for fun let's compare somethings.
- White Katara, Sokka, Aang, Gran Gran, and Lord knows who else.
- Brown Zuko, Iroh, Zhao, Ozai, Yue, everyone else.
- Earth Kingdom is now a smush of Africa and Asia. (Henceforth to be known as Token Minority Land.)
- Dark skinned fire nation versus white heroes who liberate the Asian/African Earth Kingdom

*FACEPALM*

Jhenne out.

DO. NOT. WANT. >:[

2009-04-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

While the Avatar series has brought me the utmost joy and an awesome fandom...this movie is like, the most painful media-related headache ever.

The casting. I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND.

NO.
NO JACKSON RATHBONE, NO.

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU AS MY SOKKA. IF YOUR ~~RACIST~~ ~~YELLOW-FACE-APPROVING~~ "IGNORANT" COMMENTS DIDN'T SETTLE IT, YOUR UTTER FAIL AT LOOKING COOL WHILE SPORTING SOKKA'S HAIR HAS FINISHED IT.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL.

Your tan failed Rathbone. It failed hard. Not that any amount of tan would make you, oh, I dunno, not White but I digress.

You have a charming smile ~~that is far outweighted by your jerkitude~~, but that's about it.

Also...I kind of think your a douche >_> But that's just me. ^^;

P.S. Working with the random chess peices lobbed at me, LET'S FIX THE CASTING 8D

OUR. YUE. LOOKS. LIKE. KATARA.
Nicola Peltz does not >:[

LOOK. DEV PATEL = SOKKA.

Here. "YUE" AND "ZUKO" AS OUR WATER TRIBE TWINS.

HOW HARD WAS THAT?

~JT

P.S. ALSO. To keep the Rathbone/Twilight fans interested since that's clearly the sole purpose of his involvment, I suggest:

TADA.

Yue Cast!

2009-04-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

HEY EVERYBODY!

LOOKIT OUR NEW YUE.

WHAT THE...she could have been Katara ._.

Well hm.

Please, someone...anyone...explain to me why Jackson Rathbone is still Sokka when Dev Patel is a much better matchup, and why SOKKA'S MANY WOMEN are beautiful women of color, but Sokka is still a pasty little vampire?

Oh wait, I get it:

Extras = ethnic rainbow! ~~complete with Korean Kimonos, Belgian lederhosen, and big African things!~~

Supporting character casting = strong resemblance win!

Main characters = White!heroes, brown!baddies.

Smooth Paramount. Smooth.

~JT <3

*RETURNS*

Et Tu Cartoon Network?

2009-03-30T22:01:00.001-07:00

I Officially Have Old Woman Complaining Syndrome;, and at the ripe old age of eighteen too. :|

I don't want live action; I want cartoons.

What...what is this blasphemy?

Okay, I know I'm beginning to sound like those old people who slip into reveries about how good times were back in "their day..." but I don't care.

Back in my decade, when Pluto was a planet, we had good cartoons. We had good TV.

Let's use Nickelodeon as an example. Back in ~~the 90s~~ the day, Nick had great shows. Things like Hey Arnold, Angry Beavers, AAAAH! Real Monsters, Rocko's Modern Life, Doug, Rugrats...heck, even the live action shows like Legends of the Hidden Temple and Double Dare were good. Then there was the time of Danny Phantom, El Tigre, Invader Zim...it was good. Pretty much too good to last. In fact, those of us who became all world weary knew that Nick was going downhill when it pushed Spongebob (funny at first, facepalmy akward now) more than it's Emmy Award winning Avatar. Hell, I knew it was going downhill when the Naked Brother's Band got renewed for yet another fail-filled season.

Nowdays, IMHO, Nick sucks. I can't think of one show that makes me go "OMG, GOTTA STAY HOME TO WATCH THIS." And their spinoff channels aren't too great either; I think that's why Nick Cannon was pracitcally given "The N."

I turn to rerun channels (building up in fail) and my little "NICKTOONS!" book to remember the good times.

Of course, maybe it's Viacom in general (Nick, MTV, BET, VH1; all pretty failtastic right now.

The Sci Fi channel -with the exception of everything they've whitewashed to hell and back- used to have okay shows. _{(And you all know I don't mean that Godforsaken Earthsea Adaptation. I like to pretend such atrocities don't even exist.)}
Now, the Sci Fi channel intends to change their spelling to "SyFy" and distance itself from "Sci Fi" because “The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular."

Hm. Well excuse the Hell out of me for being a intellegent yet somehow socially adept member of the general public, as well as an African American female that's interested in the genre, and doesn't live in a basement filled with "videogames and stuff." Who'da thunk?

Fox. 4Kids. Need I say more?

Disney Channel used to be cool too. Tale Spin, Chip n Dale, Goof Troop, Gargoyles, Out of the Box, every Disney movie known to mankind. Then they ate Pixar. It was a sign of execs pyscho!greed and love for money, but I still believed. Jetix had WITCH and some other alright shows, but then they started to suck too.

Now it's weird cartoons and chances to "promote every last child live action shows aiming to promote every character as the next pop icon!actor!horrible-singer!songwriter!moviestar ever!1!.

And is Disney XD supposed to be satirical, because the fact that it resembles "Disney-they suck!-LAWL" is ironic.

Now, Cartoon Network is trying to fail me too? POR QUE?

NO CN. NO.

You were the only channel I had hope for. You're the only one that didn't sell out/decay/fall into oblivion D:

Whatever happened to Dexter's Lab? The Powerpuff Girls? Tiny Toons? Tom and Jerry? Looney Toons? Every epic show you ever showed on your wonderful channels?! It was good Cartoon Network. Toonami; with it's Sailor Moon and DBZ, Pokemon and Digimon movies...those were good times.

I should have known when they brought out the psuedo-munnys and dangerously addictive "ARE YOU CN THIS?" slogan. You blinded me with the lulzy Canadian shows (TDI, 6teen) that Nickelodeon failed at keeping in their lineup. You had Foster's Home, Ed, Edd and Eddy, Animaniacs, Teen Titans, Ben 10, and so much more! I mean, even Chowder and Flapjack are chuckleworthy sometimes.

And NOW:

"Turner and Cartoon Network executives made their pitch at the Frederick P. Rose Hall at Time Warner Center, with a backdrop consisting of buzzwords to describe the new strategy such as "authentic," "real stakes," and "un-sanitized."

At the forefront of the strategy are a slate of new alternative series that seem to take their cues from more grownup cable networks such as Discovery and Sci Fi, though with teens and tweens as the stars."

But Cartoon Network, couldn't I simply change the channel if I wanted to watch such shows? There's a thought!

"The network will also be launching a Saturday afternoon sports block, which will utilize the reach of Turner Sports to generate programming. Earlier this week the network announced a partnership with the NBA to develop programming.

"We are casting a wider net to open us up to new partnerships and new audiences, we want to become a dominant youth culture brand," said Brenda Freeman, CMO of Turner Animation, Young Adults and Kids Media division. "We are going to break out of the over sanitized kids environment, and that's ok."

UHM...WHAT?

No. No it's not okay.
Maybe I'm suffering from 90's baby "Who Moved My Cheese?" syndrome, but CARTOON Network may want to focus on CARTOONS.

I remember reading an article in Animation Magazine (I LOVE THAT MAG. But I digress.) and the creator of the Powerpuff Girls said that Cartoon Network was going to start a program to help new artists and writeers to have their ideas picked up. It was going to be called "Cartoon Academy," similar to "Oh Yeah Cartoons" from Nick's golden age, but longer. Great idea right?

Well I don't see any mention of that in the article. Tell me Cartoon Network, where would the Cartoon Academy concept fit in with this new lineup, hm? Before or after the NBA Sports block?

Even Adult swim sucks. With the exception of Boondocks, the Anime-Satruday blocks, and few other shows, it's horrible. Tim and Eric aren't funny. The World Around You is not funny. Where is my adult-oriented funny?!?

*DEEP SIGH*

It's like the very industry I want to be a part of is falling down around me D:

:bulletblue: While I'm happy about TDA (and perhaps interested in more Ben 10. Maybe. could be another weird canon/AU chimera *cough*Alien Force*cough*)and I do like the idea of broadcasting some shows for older audiences...I don't like where this is going. (TV Tropes: Network Decay anyone?)

Really, this all plays into a problem I've been having with media in general. Everyone is so busy trying to make money, jump on bandwagons, and follow trends that all these previously diverse 2,463 channels I'm paying Comcast for are basically carbon copies of each other. Instead of finding niches and expanding from there, everyone is attempting to cater to the same tweeny bopper demographic, leaving out all other types of veiwers.

Cartoon Network does not need a Sports Block. Unless it's some kind of animated play by play, that's what ESPN is for.

The ~~SyFy~~ Sci Fi channel does not need to alienate it's original fanbase in favor of attracting the teenybopper crowd.

Disney and Nick should stop sucking in general.

I want some dedicated creators, I want people and networks that won't sell out. I want some new, unique concepts. I want shows with diverse casts; girls for leads, boy for leads, minorities for leads, and diversity. I wanna see a bunch of different races and cultures, and I wanna see some different sexualities too.

I want channels that will cater to those of us who want something amazingly different.

I want us young'uns [use this term as loosely as you want, haha] to step up, show some willpower and ambition, help each other out, and be the change we want to see in the art world, the literary world, the media world; the world in general.

I think it's time for the newer generations to just step up and kick ass in our own way, because ~~THE MAN IS KEEPING US DOWN~~ the money grubbing oldster-executives are doing it quite wrong.

~JT <3

Bosco was a BROWN BEAR. DUH.

2009-03-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

You all know how I feel about this Avatar casting thing. (If you don't it's about a journal or two before this post.)

Now, courtesy of the Racebending livejournal (the LJ counterpart to Racebending.com) there is a small list of particularly failtastic quotes from the opposition.

It takes alot to help compile a list like this, I would know; in helping, I found this little jewel.

"And there ARE pleanty of things in Avatar that are not Asian or Inuit.

Look at the Fire Nation. Their islands were based off of the Netherlands. That's not asian. Are Platapi Asian? No, they're from Australia. Bosco was a BROWN BEAR. Brown Bears aren't native to Asia. Lemurs are only found on Madagascar, and I don't remember that being part of asia.

What about Katara's blue eyes. I do not know ONE asian or inuit with blue eyes. I do not know any asians or inuits with brown wavy hair either. Or what about Zuko and Mai dating each other? If the Fire Nation was TRUELY Asian, they would have already had arranged marriges. But no, Zuko is free to date and Azula remains uncommitted."

Seriously. This is real: http://www.tv.com/avatar-the-last-airbender/aang-aint-white/topic/13281-1203541/msgs.html

Depressing isn't it?

That the entire Asian culture = brown eyed, straight, black-haired, people in prearranged marriages.

And this, my friends, is why stupidity should burn.

~JT

It's Official...

2009-03-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

I've lost all hope for literary-humanity.

Thanks to Kiesha for depressing me with this horrid entry.

CLICK THE LINK AND FEEL MY RAGE.

A sample, so you know what you're getting into:

"Written by Gothic webmistress and author LadySybilla, Russet Noon is an unofficial continuation to the last book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. Russet Noon is told from Jacob Black's perspective and it explores the questions left unanswered at the end of the last installment in the Twilight Saga.
"

Why? Why?!?

[read: WHY WON'T THE TWILIGHT FRANCHISE DIE?!?!
SOMEONE, PLEASE KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! AND ~~SUNLIGHT~~ ~~STAKES~~ ~~GARLIC~~ ANTI-SPARKLE POWDER D:<]

Damn you Stephanie Meyers; you've opened Pandora's Box.
You made it acceptable to publish bad fanfiction in the form of a novel, and to the literary slow, a "saga."

This is not acceptable. This is very, very bad.

And now this, this "Russet Noon?"
NO "Gothic webmistress and author LadySybilla" NO.
YOU'RE DOIN IT WRONG.
YOU'RE RUINING THE NATURAL ORDER.

~~FANFICITON~~ "Unofficial Continuations" and "Tribute Sequels" belong on the interwebs. Not in my local Barnes and Nobles ._.

"What happens in Russet Noon?

The Volturi are now watching the Cullens even closer, and a conspiracy is brewing deep within the catacombs of of Volterra.

Aro is determined to put an end to Bella's happily ever after. He is obsessed with getting Renesmee to join his clan in Italy, while Edward and Bella refuse to make Renesmee a full vampire.

Renesmee hates herself for being only a half breed, and her unhappiness turns Bella against her own daughter.

Humans in Forks are starting to suspect something about the Cullens, and Renesmee's lack of self-control is to blame for it. Bella and Edward might have to leave Forks permanently to protect Nessie.

Meanwhile, the spirit warriors have returned to live among the Quileutes. Taha Aki has made contact with Jacob to warn him that great danger is coming to La Push."

Well, actually, that seems to have one of those things Meyers hates! Uhm, whichamacallits?
Oh right, plots.

Granted, I resent anyone who serves to further this franchise, but shoot.I do give this random author props for milking the franchise without getting sued (so far.).

In fat...I'm about to go write a "tribute" ending to Harry Potter.

JT Out

P.S.Seriously though. What does this mean to all the fanfiction writers? can we all publish our "tribute" media? because if that's the case, I'm about to pitch some "unofficial continuations" of all my favorite 90's shows too. :iconmotherofgodplz:

In which JT rallies the troops.

2009-03-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

Alrighty peoples.

You don't have to read the rest of this post unless you're interested in my rantings.

All I'm asking you to do is please, please, please sign this petition:

Seriously. Sign the Petition.

Thank all.

~JT <3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you've read my previous journals (or follow my DA, or keep up with me on LJ) you know how I feel about the upcoming Avatar: the Last Airbender live action movie.

This issue affects me both as a person and as an artist.

The casting, whether or not you're juiced for this movie, is racist. I'm not saying that casting directors set out with racist intents, but ignorance is not an excuse. In fact, the casting directors can't even claim ignorace any longer, they've been made aware of the problems with their casting (fan letters, MANAA lettees, EWP letters, Newpaper articles, etc.) and are choosing to ignore them and mosie on ahead anyway.

And I'm not just bitching for the sake of bitching guys. I'm bitching because when something is wrong, the only way to get it fixed is if you address the problem.

I'm a huge Avatar fan, and I would love nothing more for this movie to be just as kickass as the show itself. I want to be excited. I want to see it over and over and over. I want to nerd out, but it comes down to this:

My love for Avatar, as well as my potential love for the movie, does not outweight my opposition to racism in any and all forms.

Let me repeat that:

Not supporting racism > Love for Avatar

And it is racist.

This is boldfaced whitewashing, and I'm not supporting it.

Avatar is set in a Pan-Asian world, the creators have said so.

So why did the casting call for the main characters ask for "Caucasian, or any other race?"

Because Paramount intended to have White actors playing the main characters from the get go, that's why. They wanted the Jason Rathbones and the Nicola Peltzs and the Jesse McCartneys.

Then Mccartney dropped out, and Patel was cast.

I love Patel, I do (seriously, almost too much), but casting him was only a weeeeee step forward then a freefall backwards and off a cliff.

Why? Because (aside from the fact that he looks more like SOKKA,) now the previously brown heroes are White, the corrupt nation (Earth Kingdom)and the antagonist (Zuko; eventual anti-hero, hero, yes, I know.) and his genocidal, oppressive Nation are brown.

In short:

White Savior (Aang). White Heroes (Sokka and Katara). Brown people; bad/corrupt guys.

Yeah, I'm reading the message loud and clear.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This upcoming Airbender movie _{along with Racefail 09 in general} is letting me know quite a few things.

It's letting me know that my all of my characters and ideas, writing and plobunnies, concepts and carryouts, are subject to a Hollywood whitewashing for the sake of the veiwers.

It's letting me know, that if I create a beautiful, ground breaking television show that is ~~"explosively huge in Asia!"~~ widely loved and even wins an Academy Award for being innovative and badass, if I go so far as to include a diverse cast, I will be inevitably screwed over.

It's letting me know that, even if I base my creation off of various, non-Eurocentric/White cultures, encompassing things like fashion, appearance, names, caligraphy, architecture, food and much more, the cultural cues will be waved off, because I "never said my characters weren't White."

It lets me understand why Ursula Le Guin's decidedly brown characters had to be Whitewashed before they could be seen on the SciFi channel.

It lets me see why I got Jim Sturgess as the lead in 21. It lets me see why I got Justin Chatwin as Goku, and why I'm going to get Jake Gyllenhaal as Prince Dastan in the Prince of Persia movie.

It lets me see that, even though we have a Black President, I'm still not able to see a movie adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Anasi Boys because executives are trying to change the race of the characters from Black to White. In a land based off African folk tales.

It lets me know that if I don't stamp each and every character of color on the head with their race, or better yet, with a signifying stereotype, they are going to be interpreted as White. Because it's a fictional story. Because they're Aliens. Because it's not Earth. Because no one SAID they weren't White.

Because appearantly, White is the default.

But that should be obvious, shouldn't it?

According to what casting media reflects, no one in America wants to see or possibly relate to "the other."

It doesn't matter if we're in a "post racial!America!" [insert bitter laugh at your leisure] it doesn't matter if we're "a rich, diverse, melting pot" of cultures.

This is America, and evidently Hollywood thinks that we need nice, shiny, palpable White heroes for American audiences.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

With that said, again, I want to ask every single one of my watchers to sign this petition.

Every. Single. One. Of. You.

---> Seriously. Sign the Petition. <---

What's in a Name?

2009-03-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

Alot of racism apperently.

"Slanties." Really hipsters, really?

If it's based on Inuit culture, why call them "Slanties?"
Brings up some not-so-fond memories of "chink" and "slant eyes" generaliztions?
Or maybe it's cultural appropriation in fashion form! That's always fun too. 8D
Previously practical, currently ugly.

Plus, seventy-five dollars for those things. Don't get me wrong, but I do believe I could achieve the same look with a hunk of Balsa wood and a butter knife.

Loaded name and price aside?

The originals looked hella sleek.

These just look fvcktarded.

Hope in the World of Game to LA:Movie Adaptations!

2009-02-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

FINALLY.

After holding my head and weeping for all the recent Adaptation/casting failures, here comes a movie cast that I can actually support. With P.O.C. no less!

"Based on the best-selling Japanese video game from Namco, "Tekken" is directed by Dwight H. Little. Aside from John Foo, the action movie will see Ian Anthony Dale, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Kelly Overton, Holly Marie Combs, Luke Goss and many others. Reportedly to be rated R, it still has no release date for any country.
"

*fangirlish giggling*

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Heihachi Mishima *Shang Tsung? Is that you?!?*

Chiaki Kuriyama as Ling Xiaoyu *meeeeh*

Gary Daniels as Bryan Fury

Kelly Overton as Christie Monteiro *Awww, what the hell perfection combo breaker?*

Cung Le as Marshall Law *more giggling* <3

Darrin Dewitt Henson as Raven *giggling*

Luke Goss as Steve Fox

Ian Anthony Dale as Kazuya

Lateef Crowder as Eddy Gordo *PERFECTION ._.*

Candice Hillebrand as Nina Williams

Marian Zapico as Anna Williams

Gary Ray Stearns as Yoshimitsu

Roger Huerta as Miguel The Matador

HEY WAITAMINUTE: Where is Hwoarang, Paul, Violet, Lei Wulong, Panda, and Lili?

Maybe they haven't announced the full cast yet.

Still, ignoring that and the Christie-fail...I'm feeling that special feeling.
That excitement, joy, and squee that usually comes along with -dare I say it?- hope!

_{...why is Hollywood having to rely on remakes of 80s/90s cartoons, movies, comics, and games? Where are the fresh concepts and new ideas?}

Walking Dead Man?!

2009-02-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

Chris brown is a Walking Dead Man?!?

WELL GODDAMN JAY-Z D: What the hell, don't announce your plans for murder outloud like that.

Although, on the real, I can see where he's coming from. I mean, if some guy tried to beat up someone I'm close to, it would be on and poppin; family affair style.

At the same time, tapping into my bleeding heart status, I feel bad for Chris too. (And I'm not just saying that because he's served as my own mini-Michael Jackson and I had his poster on my wall.)

It's just damn. Boy had a hard past -and that's no excuse- but damn.

You know, to realize the whole dark aspect of yourself; becoming that one thing you said you'd never be, that's got to be hard. Especially with every tv station, magazine, and radio station pointing it out as well (and most likely, making things worse.)

I'm not in a state of approval; just disbelief, it's crazy you know.

Not to say I side with him at all.

I'm just not as extreme as my mom.

Have You Ever Had a Churro?!?

2009-02-10T18:44:00.001-08:00

Why...why can't I stop watching this?!?

It's so cheesily horrible that it's wonderful...I can't look away.

I usually don't read books directed at teens (the human brain can only take so much Teen Drama/Gossip Girl-esque literature at one time) Still, this could be an alright book. IMHO, it could either be an "aww" or an "omgwtfposer" novel, but considering the author, hopefully it will be the former.

Or maybe I'm influenced by the gorgeous boy on the cover of the book?

WOW.

2009-02-08T22:09:00.001-08:00

...oh my.

3:22 AM

2009-02-07T03:22:00.000-08:00

[i.e. Hour of "Why in God's Name Did I Take an Online Class?!?]

When it comes to the internet, I have a short attention span.

Or -to put it better- a need to multitask. I gotta have multiple browsers up. I have to have something playing on iTunes or youtube, a deviantart tab up (I check that as obsessively as others check their myspace) a lj tab, and about half a dozen random things that I'm interested in reading later on open.

When this A.D.D. act is mixed with online schooling, bad things happen.

I cannot focus on this little assignment for the life of me.

Usually, if I have to get something done, I'll just avoid the internet and lock myself in the world of Microsoft Word until it's done. However, in an online class (emphasis: online) I can't use my whole "avoid the IE icon like the plague" idea.

I end up looking at other things, checking emails, reading articles, updating blogs, downloading music, and tooling around in Illustrator.

And that's why I'm writing this essay at 3:30 in the morning.

It Just Keeps Getting Better...

2009-02-05T22:53:00.001-08:00

WOW.

Just as I finally managed to come down from my original high regarding the Last Airbender's extra's casting call, the casting directors put out yet another quest for extras, taking place Feb. 7th

Here's what they have in mind:

_{Quote courtesy of Insider.com:}

CRAFTSMEN, ARTISTS, DANCERS, PUPPETIERS,
GYMNASTS, ATHLETES, SOLDIERS & GRANDPARENTS
Basket weaving, Candle making, Painting, Ceramics, Needle Point,
Whittling, Silk Screening, Jewelry making, Cooking & Fishing……

Searching for…..
Physically fit MEN & WOMEN 18-85 yr. Old - Boys & Girls 6-16 yr. Old.

NEAR EASTERN, MIDDLE EASTERN, FAR EASTERN,
ASIAN, MEDITERRANEAN & LATINO Ethnic groups….

Oh, and if you have martial arts and/or military training, it's a plus.

The open call will be Feb. 7 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Independence Visitor's Center at Sixth and Market Streets.

Oh! And let's not forget that the call for the Lead Characters read:
WANTED: Caucasian, or any other ethnicity.

WELL GOLLY GEE! LOOKIT THAT.

It's seems that I -in all my ethnic slpendor and artisan glory- am capable of playing the role of Extra # 342 in the Avatar Movie!

Mmmm. White heroes, ethnic background characters and a newly browned baddie. Wonderful. I'll take my racism with a side of White priveledge please 8D

Even if you don't have the traditional garb of your respective ethnicity (Or whatever ethnicity Reeves deems you to be; she is Ms. Korean Kimonos and Belgian lederhosen afterall) it's A-OK!

When an African American woman, donned in denim and a black crop jacket asked if she would be at a disadvantage because of her modern wear, Rickets responded with a wonderfully eloquent (ver batum m'dears; you can't make this stuff up)

"It doesn't mean you're at a disadvantage if you didn't come in a big African thing. But guys, even if you came with a scarf today, put it over your head so you'll look like a Ukrainian villager or whatever."

Well...okay then.

it's good to know that the casting is in such culturally senstivie, well informed, faithful to the source hands, isn't it?

All riled up now?

Good. Go do something about it :)
Write a Letter. Or, if you're in the Philly area try to make it to the protest.

Just make sure to do something.

SOOO...CLOSE...

2009-02-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

Shamallama.
Shamallamadingdong.
Mr. S.

Why have you cast Dev as Zuko of all people, when he is so clearly our Sokka Savior?

If you make this guy Sokka, I swear I won't hate you ~~as much.~~ In fact, you may even redeem yourself in the eyes of the fandom. Maybe.

BUT C'MON MAN. C'MON.
...YOU'RE SO CLOSE.

Look at that. Tell me that move doesn't scream Sokka.
_{(IF YOU JUST TRIED TO TELL ME, YOU LIED.)}

PLEASE SHAMALLAMA.
DO THE RIGHT THING D:

~Jhenne Bean

P.S.

We don't neeeeeed Rathbone. We don't, honest.
But if you just don't feel safe without one It Boy in the movie, recast him somewhere else.
If you trade him to...say "Foam Guy," the clueless fangirls you hoped to attract with Jackson's mere presence fangirls will still come. And so will the fandom.

Win win, yes?

Here you go: Put Rathbone's name as a headliner, and cast him as Foamy.

WHATTA TWEEST!

P.S.
I...I DON'T SEE IT :|

Whachu Sayin Shamallamadingdong?!?

2009-02-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

_{Thanks to Admiralteaspoon of DA for the original link :)}

...Hm. Hm.

If the Website -> M. Night Fans <- is to be believed, then Jesse McCartney is officially out of the Zuko running. *APPLAUSE, CONFETTI, FIREWORKS, ETC ETC.*

Instead of Zukartney (thanks for the abbrev. Diet Otaku) we get: Dev Patel of Slumdog Millionaire! *crickets, thoughful pins drop, contemplative silence*

That's...well...that's something!

Truth be told, I’m not SUPAH!juiced about this. Not the perfect casting IMHO, but you all know how I feel about the whitewashing (blah blah, financial/ignorance induced racism, not faithful to the source, skintone/ethnicity wtf, Rathbone seems to think tan = instant!ethnicity, Jesse is clueless in every sense of the term)

So...huzzah for a lil' bitta ethnicity 8D

I mean…he's no Morgan "Hottie"Benoit (look him up; that is how RL!Zuko could look) but at least he's a step away from supreme whitewashing.

But what ho? Zut Alor! He's ACUTALLY martially arts inclined 8D
(No need to use Jesse McCartney's meme patented,"kung-fu training with ninjas, for, like, three hours a day!")

…Still casting directors…he’s more on the Sokka spectrum of things, don’t you think?

We've left the "OMGTOOWHITEWTF" segment and sky dived into "well...damn. Zuko's not really that tan" realm.

I adore this kid, but he's not exactly oriental :/

I mean really casting directors, are you ever going to get it right?

...Still, they're getting warmer BD

Well, either way. Recast the water tribe siblings, and then we'll talk BD

P.S. For the record, I adore the Suki-casting 8D

P.S.S. Also, I totally feel that “conflicting tour dates” = OMG-MUST-QUELL-CONTROVERSY-BEGONE-WITH-YOU-MCCARTNEY D:<

HEY!

2009-01-31T16:48:00.000-08:00

I'm poor.

Buy Things.

OH BOY!

2009-01-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

The following sarcasm flavored rant is brought to you by the upcoming Avatar; the Last Airbender movie, and it's horrible race fail. http://jhennebean.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-12-22T00%3A04%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=7

http://media.www.dailypennsylvanian.com/media/storage/paper882/news/2009/01/23/News/Try-Out.For.A.Role.For.M.Night.Shyamalan-3594896.shtml

GOLLY GEE EVERYONE!!!

~~In an attempt to compensate for the utter whitewashing of the main Avatar Cast:~~

Deedee Rickets, the casting director for the film, said she is looking to cast men and women ages 18 to 65 and children ages six to 15. Casting officials are seeking candidates with military or martial arts experience, athletes, gymnasts and people of various races and cultures.

“We want you to dress in traditional cultural ethnic attire,” she said. “If you’re Korean, wear a kimono. If you’re from Belgium, wear lederhosen.”

Another way to stand out is to demonstrate skills such as basket weaving, hair braiding, making clay pots, puppeteering, knitting, looming - “any artisan craft,” Rickets said.

FINALLY! A WAY TO ~~EXPLOIT~~ FLAUNT MY ETHNICITY AS WELL AS ARTISAN SKILLS. All to play the role of the ethnic!one!1!extra! It's the best oppurtunity one could hope for!

Infact, I've got a flawless plan!

To ensure my non-speaking-ethnic role, I've devised the most flauntastic entrance ever!

Naturally, I'm going wear a colorful dashiki (as opposed to Korean Kimonos and Belgian Lederhosen) with a Native American jewelry and headress combo, all topped with a French-esque handlebar moustache and Cruella DiVille style cigarette holder.

I'll even bring an ethnic doll who's hair I can braid!!!

And, whilst I walk in dressed in all this African-Native American-French-hair braiding glory, THIS WILL PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND.

Excellent, right?

...You know what really gets me?

The fact that Avatar's Casting Director worked on Tropic Thunder. Yeah; the movie that, in a satirical move, cast Robert Downey Jr. as "The dude who plays the dude playin' another dude."

In Brownface. In TT, it was funny, because it was intentional- it was poking fun at Hollywood's utter wtfuckery.

However, it seems that Rickets took Brownface to heart.

And, in a move that looks both ignorant and racist, Jason Rathbone [Sokka] has this: http://avatarmovie.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/rathbone-hopes-to-show-range/ to say about the fan's feelings on the Racefail. :|

Ah yes Rathbone, throw some ~~D's~~ tan on dat boy. Because we all know damn well that tan = instant!ethnicity.

He...I...what?

I can only suspend so much disbelief. Perhaps if it were just one person I had to "ethnify" in my mind, but since it's at least 3/4ths of the main cast, I'm going to have to say "Hell No Rathborne. No I can't."

Oh Casting Directors, why do you fail me so?

More Presidential Love.

2009-01-20T18:52:00.000-08:00

My President, when introduced to someone from Chicago, immediately asks "West or Southside?" when presented an answer, he then asks "White Sox or Cubs?"

And he wears a bomb bow tie.

Gosh, I love him.

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Got up at seven (against my will -I blame my sister's alarm clock- I planned to get up at about 9) and watched the Inagural happenings.

Honestly, this is amazing

I know I've never seen so much support, so much hope for one individual. After the dissapointment that is Bush, seeing so much worldwide excitement and anticipation is wonderful.

He speaks of hope, he inspires change; we as a people -not as a race, a political standing, or generation- but as a people, need to look toward the future and strive for greatness. We need to work to spread kindness, share our prosperity, nad promote equality.

It's all smiles, reflection, and much deserved celebration today. But this isn't going to be cake; things are going to get hard, and we have to support our President, just as he inspires and works for us.

We have to have faith in him, but we can't expect him to solve all our problems in a day, and certainly not by himself.

But that's okay; I believe anything is possible now.

And I'm pretty friggin happy right now, I'll tell you that :)

I'm happy to have a President I can be proud to call my own.
I'm juiced to have an intellegent President that isn't afraid to make decisions.
I'm glad to have a President that unifies people, instead of exploiting differences.
I'm elated have a new begining.
I'm excited that there's a chance to prove that not everyone is the same and that's a good thing.

In all truth, I've never been so proud to be an American as I am today.

In the words of this awesome lefty: Yes we can <3

INTERESTING MOMENTS:

[Bush Sr. & Wife walk -ever so sloooowly- in; crowd must be reminded to clap]

[Bill & Hilary stroll walk in like Ballers; crowd goes wild <3]

[CNN cuts to the Obama daughters; they are dressed amazingly cute]

[Gobama, because of genetic inclanation; is running late :)]

[Dick Cheney is wheeled in.]

[Bush walks in -looking pitifully guilty and self concious- Music is played to mask the almost silence caused by lack-of-clapping]

[Joe Biden walks out to rousing chants of "JOE!" "JOE!" "JOE!"]

[Nancy Pelosi recives cheering as well]

[Barack Obama is announced an strolls out like a sav; CROWD EXPLODES IN CHANTS AND CHEERS <3]

[Prayers are had]

[Aretha Franklin -with a...large...bow...hat....thing- tears up "My Country tis of thee"]

[THE HUGEST BIBLE EVER is used to swear in Joe Biden]

[Obama shows that he knows the swearing in speech by heart; better than John Robert. But it's okay, we forgive JR :) ]

[Obama gives the best, inspiring speech with implied criticism ever]

[Long -seemingly plotless- "Praise Song for the Day" poem is read, Jhenne zones out. Honestly guys, couldn't she have just said the final line and been done with it?]

[Awesome poem is read by Rev. Joseph E. Lowery. Memorable lines include "We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around (laughter) when yellow will be mellow (laughter) when the red man can get ahead, man (laughter) and when white will embrace what is right. (amen's are shared through out the crowd]

[Bushes fly off ~~into obscurity~~ to Texas; America rejoices]

[Obama smiles into CNN camera; DC, Nation, World rejoices]

Thank God for Old School VHS!

2009-01-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

This way, I can tape the PPG, and watch Disney Channel celebrate our bomb new President. (Because I don't have TiVo and I have no idea how to record things on Comcast)

This is actually a cute little setup; I'm sorry Disney Channel, I won't call you TeenyBopper MTV anymore...today.

I do enjoy highlighter!outfit Jamie Foxx parading around and beatboxing during this beautiful moment.

(Sidenote: daaang. Lookit all those kids. Why isn't my little sister there? That way I could pull a Haylie Duff and mooch off her fame BD)

Here's a goofy play by play. I'll give you a real, heartfelt summary at the bottom :)

8:03
*Hopes everyone understands that Jamie Foxx's "Ask not what you can do for your country" line was a flatlined joke and not an actual dee-dee-dee moment*

...
8:09
*changes channel as Hannah Montana sings an irrelevant song with a bad fading mic*

8:14
[OH GOD ANOTHER SONG]

...

8:17
[Sooo...this new PPG episode is hilarious]

...

8:19
[OH GOD THEY'VE SUMMONED MILEY'S DAD FROM THE DEPTHS OF OBSCURITY TO COME AND SING.]

It seems that this Celebration has turned into a mix between a Hannah Montana jamboree, and a personal conversation-song between the Cyrus family; I feel like I'm intruding just by listening.

8:23 George Lopez comes to save the day!

8:25 SCHOOL IS CANCELLED FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR AND TSHIRT CANNONS ARE ANNOUNCED!

8:28 JT falls madly in love with whomever the hottie firing the t-shirts is.

8:29 Bow Wow comes on stage, and T-shirt launcher is promptly forgotten.

[Jhenne leaves to eat dinner]

8:51 I love Corbin Bleu, but I don't want him to sing anymore again ever. Also...is this a Michael Jackson phase.?

9:00 Coolest man on this channel uses this time to tell hi wife in Iraq via teleprompter that she is "sexy and can't wait for her to go home." Jhenne claps loudly. Touching scenes continue.

9:07 Bow Wow performs "Marco Polo" is sans Soulja Boy. It seems he has been replaced by a flannel-shirted rapper. Jhenne is sad.

9:09 [JHENNE REALIZES THAT KHLEO THOMAS IS ACTUALLY BOWWOW'S FLANNELED RAP-BUDDY. SHE BEGINS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND GOES TO UPDATE HER FUTURE HUSBANDS LIST]

9:17 Usher's squash shaped head comes on stage to speak about MLKJr.

9:20 Jonas Brothers step on stage, various glasses and camera lenses are shattered by the high0pitch fan screams. Joe's pants are entirely too tight as usual

9:22 Jhenne's father observes the entire stadium singing the lyrics to "Lovebug" and is utterly flabberghasted that the Jonas Brothers are so "Jackson 5" popular. Jhenne is mildy concerned, but laughs anyway.

9:28 [CAMERA ZOOMS on Joe's pants; Jhenne screams in horror, then continues to sing along like a fangirl]

9:30 [JB FINALLY SING BURNIN' UP. FINALLY. The girls in the audience loose their minds]

9:34 CONFETTI FALLS AND CUTENESS IS HAD.

9:35 CREDITS ROLL. LE END <3

Honestly though, that was a very, very sweet concept. Alot of touching moments sprinkled inbetween the performances.

It's actually pretty amazing to see so many people excited, genuinely excited about the Presidency. It's not just that Obama is the first Black President (although that's wonderful on it's own) but the fact that he's unifying and inspiring people of all ages, of all races, in such a big way. <3

Maturity

2009-01-19T15:24:00.000-08:00

I have none.

For those of you that don't know, Cartoon Network is hosting a Powerpuff Girls marathon to celebrate their 10th Anniversary.

And guess who is sitting here, in her pajamas -cereal bowl in hand- watching?

Yours truly of course.

Plus CN is showing a new episode at 8?

Cartoon network has definitely moved into my number one slot. Then again, Nickelodeon has been slipping out for months, and ~~Teeny Bopper MTV~~ Disney channel (live action and Cartoon-wise) only prompts a snicker from me these days.

P.S.

Between this and the Inauguration tomorrow, I've almost completely forgotten about my second sememster of college that starts tommorrow. >_>

(Sociology, Anthropology, Intro. to Biology, and Lifespan Human Development. Tell me you wouldn't try to forget about it too)

P.P.S.

For those of you that are going to need a break from watching cartoons all day or aren't watching the PPG Marathon at all (I assume you and I are nto friends, and you stumbled here by chance) watch Oprah today and learn something.

Free Your Mind

2009-01-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

Screw You Prop 8.

FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW ~<3

1. Being Gay Is Not Natural

And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts...

2. Gay Marriage Will Encourage People To Be Gay

In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Open The Door To All Kinds Of
Crazy Behavior

People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.

4. Straight Marriage Has Been Around A Long Time And Hasn't Changed At All

Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight Marriage Will Be Less Meaningful If Gay Marriage Were Allowed

And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.

6. Straight Marriages Are Valid Because They Produce Children

So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously Gay Parents Will Raise Gay Children

Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay Marriage Is Not Supported By Religion

In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children Can Never Succeed Without A Male And A Female Role Model

Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay Marriage Will Change The Foundation Of Society; We Could Never Adapt To New Social Norms.

Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[Reposted from my DA Account ~<3]

10 Movies that Scared the Mess Out of Me As A Kid.

2009-01-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

Honestly, one would wonder if the FCC were comprised of sadists.

1) Watership Down.

I really don't want to talk about that movie.

But this clip speaks volumes.

2) Plague Dogs.

Everyone: Aw, but Jhenne! It's got the word "dog" in the title! How could you be afraid of-

Me: NO. SCREW YOU. WATCH THIS AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN'T BE HORRIFIED.

Everyone: Well, yes, that was mildly disturbing but-

Me: NO. I'M NOT DONE DAMNIT.

Everyone: ._.

Me: EXACTLY.

3) Felidae.

I think it's a miracle that I still want a pet.

4) The Adventures of Mark Twain
...when the little clay guys hands rake the earth as he slips in...

*CRIES LIKE A BITCH*

5) Alice In Wonderland: Something about being lost ina world with no means of help or escape or rules or logic horrified me as a kid. Still does @_@

6) Lion King.
MUFASA DIES.
But the rest of the movie is bomb, so I almost forgive Disney.

7) Bambi.
BAMBI'S MOM DIES.
WHYYY?

8)Fox & The Hound.
TODD'S MOM DIED....but I should have seen the trend by then.

9) Dumbo.
Pink. Elephants.
...Also that truamatizing scene with Dumbo and his caged mom, where she rocks him to sleep ;-;

10) Moonwalker.

[I.E., the movie that consisted of Music videos, frolicking, 20s gangsters, orphans, wicked villian hairstyles and some drug-centered plot 8D)

Okay, you all know I love MJ to death, and that "Macko" was like, one of my first words (shutup! I grew up on Beat it, okay?)and Moonwalker was awesome...but...you all know that ONE scene, where Mike turns into a robot that blows shit up just by screaming?

That was kinda scary ._.

But then, Smooth Criminal was a part of that movie, so it's all good.

Potential Jobs.

2009-01-12T00:41:00.000-08:00

[I've been letting you guys off the hook when it comes to random babbling.
That will not do.]

You know, I think I could make a pretty good living as an "Idea Expansion Consultant."

I just made that up, and I don't think such a thing exists, but believe you me, I would kick ass at it.

Help expand on others ideas {particularly for stories, comics, and cartoons) make them even badass-er and get paid for it?

Picture it:

"What my good sir? you have an excellent cartoon idea? Mhmm...mhmmm Well that's a great start, but what if you did this and added these characters?"

Actually...perhaps that's called being an animation writer...or editor...or something...

Alternatively, my legal status + my occasional being mistaken for 14 year old (I blame my love for Tinkerbell paired with my rare "screw-picking-a-nice-outfit-I'm-throwing-on-a-tee-and-headband days." for this misconception.) means I have a future working for Disney (hello Monique Coleman, Ashley Tisdale, Brenda Song, Kyla Pratt; all over 20, all still getting teenage roles) or working with Dateline and Perverted Justice.

I know how to pretend to be 13 or so. I know how to chat. And most importantly, I know how to call out a pedo's secret weakness [hint: cookies]

Well no, this guy didn't want the cookie.

Then again, he has yet to master the stairs, so maybe he's not an ideal example.

So there we go, DATELINE or DISNEY.

Boobs =/= Money

2009-01-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

Drug dealing?
That's an occupational hazard I hear.

So, amongst the billin this crazy economy, where who deserves a bailout?

WHY, THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY OF COURSE!

Look, I know that just about everyone needs money right now (I certainly wouldn't turn down a small business bailout IF. SUCH. THINGS. EXISTED) but really? The pornos of the world need money?

Excuse me while I laugh at the insanity of it all.

Really Congress, you had better say "HAYLE NO."
I mean it congress! I wouldn't address you like a single entity if I didn't mean it!

Honestly, if you're in the porn indutry and broke, then you're obviously doing something wrong. I can get paid just for giving a well rendered picture of tits.

( o )( o ) <- Cold hard cash. For this.

Mr. Girl's Gone Wild man, your problem is the fact that you are a creepy pedophile with anger issues. You were banned from a state (Florida no less!) so I must say, you fail.

And in case your logic is somewhat like mine [i.e. not completely retarded] and you feel that the Nation is in great debt, and that we have more pressing matters to deal with than boobie magazines and GGW videos...

Well, Flynt (Hustler magazine man) retorts with "With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

...I...I don't even know what to say.

Do you see these people?

These are Congressional members. I don't think I'd be alone in saying I don't want these people to have anything to do with "rejuvinating" anyone's sexual appetite.

It's just not right.

SHAAARRROOOOON!!!

2009-01-05T23:56:00.000-08:00

Well Ms. Osbourne...you've won my VH1 slapa'bitch award. You really have.

The way you played it off as choking?
Brillance, utter brilliance.

And the way Rodeo jumped in there too?

I approve.

2009; finally.

2009-01-04T18:13:00.000-08:00

Stolen on New Years, posted on the fourth because that's how cool people do it.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Stayed home over summer vacation (oh Las Vegas, how I miss thee)
Got a paying art gig.
Only broke one umbrella.
Modelled.
Stayed away from home with friends for a duration of time longer than having a slumber party.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any last year; instant sucesess.
This year: Learn to do the splits, relaunch a kick ass version of Teezer's Tees, various other things.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I know of...
My friends keep dreaming I'm preggers though. As the virginal-keep that Penis to yourself!-girl of my clique, I find this hilarious.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Countries? A quick glance at number 1 should remind you I couldn't even afford a trip to my state's next door neighbor, Nevada.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Money.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
June 12; Not-quite-over0yet crush returned from God knows where and proved just how not quite over him I am.
June 16; graduated HS.
November 4; Gobama <3

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Seeing the school newspaper that I founded/editor'd in cheif'd/practically pulled off as a one girl show through, Graduating, Starting college, Not dropping out of Chem, Passing Chem, Voting, first paying art gig. (I cannot stress this enough.)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not punching my Newspaper advisor in the gut and/or face on the last day of school. I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major thank God.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A ponytail xD

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
One of my best friends after he found out I wasn't going to go to the college we picked together (whoops!) He wins a party for still being on bestie terms.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Augh. Any number of my friends-turned-sluts.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes or food.

15. What did you really, really, really get excited about?
Voting; I'm a nerd 8D

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Ionno. Can't I just pick a playlist of something?
The shuffle function on my iPod says: Billie Jean (2008 Kanye West Remix) which is oddly convienent yet totally irrelevant.

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
Happier? I think so :)
Thinner? No. I'm working on that.
Richer? Ha ha. *checks mail* Hahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA-no.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Organized my closet & worked out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Nothing I guess.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my family, playing various Wii games, Scategories and Little Big Planet.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
I spent it at home with my family, wearing glittery hats, blowing whistles and using airhorns. We're the most awesome people you'll ever meet.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Nah.

23. How many one-night stands?
I repeat; virginal-ew gross get that Penis out of here-girl.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Bad Girls Club, House, TDI, Real Chance at Love, Boondocks, cartoons of course.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Indeed.

26. What was the best book you read?
can't name a best; worst = Twilulz.

27. What was your biggest musical discovery?
I didn't discover anyone personally as an agent of anything; Paramore, The Ting Tings & Lady Gaga are pretty cool. Big Bang and the Wondergirls...I was feeling very international music-wise in 08.

28. What did you want and you got?
Money for art, good times, fun memeories, cute pjs.

29. What did you want and not get?
A puppy.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Transformers...Tropic Thunder...

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn?
I turned 18, and my fam and I went out to eat :D

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Money; tons of it, in the form of lottery winnings.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Cute, casual and retro [read: digging far into the reaches of my closet for things I haven't worn in forever]

34. What kept you sane?
My family; my sister; text convos with my bff

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Just one, seriously?
I can't pick one- I made a list of them though :D

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I was way into all of it; I can't pick one issue :/

37. Who did you miss?
The HS crew ;-; And one friend in particular...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Met irl:
Internet acquainted with: All of Hou Tian and BANetwork, a few loveables from DA.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Be straightforward.

40. Quote or Song Lyric that sums up your year:
"I'd like to get more sleep; but my mind just keeps...me...up"
-Kate Nash

Thus year: something uplifting fo'sho :)

ARGH.

2008-12-30T02:01:00.001-08:00

Do you know what should be listed as the horror of all horrors?

Future money.

Money that you know that you will recieve sometime in the "perhaps near perhaps not" future.

Money that has yet to arrive.

Promised money.

Money that you know you could be using to buy gorgeous clothes like this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

ONLY I CAN'T. Brcause I have yet to recieve the muchly deserve'd profits of my labor. [see previous post for deets]

;-;

My first paying gig

2008-12-28T20:45:00.000-08:00

For some reason, calling this a "gig" sounds so much chicher than a plain old "job." It makes it sounds like I'm some barista by day, cartoonist poet by night that' lives in a cute loft and dates a semi-celeb.

Which is totally a lie, but I like the connotations.

Anywhooo.

BLGGRLS 2; Sicsis92. Check it out, because I'm illustrating it. And getting paaaaaid. And getting paaaaaid. Five hundred dollaaaars, five hundred dollaaars *undie dance*

To make a little copypasta from the website:

"sicsis92, the second book, features Meg, the “less than” half of twin sisters. Although her parents have always encouraged each girl to develop her own identity, all too often, Meg finds herself in the shadow of her beautiful, popular, and athletic slightly older twin, Marci. Then life changes dramatically for both girls when Marci develops an eating disorder and Meg watches her mirror image dwindle away. Only her blog can offer solace as she shares her deepest feelings in the only safe place–online."

At this point, all seasoned interneters laugh bitterly about the safety of the internet, while scrounging through their wallets to buy the book, see the glorious pictures, and take a bite out of the comedic drama.

Seriously though, from what I've read so far, it's a cute book.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2008-12-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS IN GENERAL 8D

I'm Trying Keke Palmer! I really, really am!

2008-12-21T20:33:00.001-08:00

It's 8:30, and here I am struggling to smother my groans through your show, "True Jackson, VP."

I like you as a person and as an actress Keke -save.for.the.fact.that.you.costarred.with.one.of.my.many.future.husbands.Corbin.Bleu.in.that.Jump.Rope.movie- but I don't know if I can tolerate this show.

I think I'm allergic to it; I seem to be tching and pshing and making a whole crapload of other dissaproving nasal noises.

I'm giving TJ;V.P. an honest chance. I know most shows get better in their second season, but with the off timing, the textually active chatspeak, and not-quite believeable slang...I just don't know what to do. I'm blinking at the T.V. Keke, but nothing funny is happenning.

Outside of the random gay people in your show (Oh Gay guys; you never let me down! Even if you're really just straight actors feigning homosexuality!)

*stares for a moment*

...what the hell? The subplot of this episode is wondering if Santa Claus is an accountant? I...wha...Oh Lord.

If it wasn't for Ron Butler, Greg Proops, and my "You've avoided becoming a Hollywood partygirl slut" respect for you, I would have changed the channel ages ago.

Ages.

Hollywood Casting Directors;

2008-12-18T17:08:00.000-08:00

Kindly pass your joint, because that must be some pure, coveted, good shit you've got there.

Forreal though, what are the qualifications to join the ranks of casting directors these days? For the past two months, I've been sitting, reading movie sites like the nerd that I am, mouth agape, face agast. (Let it be known that I don't normally sit lie that by the way, I usually try to look cute should my webcam accidentally pop on...)

No, I've been sitting like that because there are some "WTF" worthy casting choices coming out of Hollywood. These are the weirdest offenses I can think of atm, in no particular order.

1) Justin Chatwin as Dragonball Evolution's Goku

The image speaks for itself. Also, why is Bulma's hair...brown?

2) The Entire Main Cast of The Last Airbender

I am a Proud Avatard. So...image the magnitude of the stroke I had when I saw

THE.

CASTING.

CHOICES.

I uttered a scream so loud and penetrating that I now need new windows.

Seriously. I'm a Black _{Native American-French-Creole} female that loves cartoons. One of the main charaacters, Katara, seemed to be in the same realm; so Avatar was like a little piece of awesome. The live action movie should have been the same.

I was -to go all Bay on everyone- hella juiced. I was looking forward to promotional posters that looked like a frickin' rainbow of ethnicites and skintones. And yet...

THE MAIN CAST IS SO WHITE. I don't want spraypainted brown, I don't want CGI'd ethnicity. No amount of spraytan or sun can give them the features of an Inuit or a Native American person.

And Jesse McCartney...no. Just no.

These people are not the undiscovered stars-of-the-Future Shamallamadingdong promised. And they certainly don't seem to be well trained in the art of Karate. The little Aang kid is, but everyone else is taking the crash course in Tai Chi I guess.

Damnit Hollywood! You guys spilled your white kids in my rainbow of skintones, multiethnic concept!

For shame Hollywood, for shame.

If you think this is as bad as I do, check this out; http://aang-aint-white.livejournal.com/646.html

3) ~~Ted~~ Keanu Reeves as Cowboy Bebop's Spike

Mr. Stoic-monotone-blank face Reeves as the lively quick witted Spike Spiegel?

I tried to find Spike looking as bored and Keanu-like as possible but...

...what?

4) Eddie Murphy as Batman's "The Riddler"

Perhaps this is an attempt to counteract all the Hollywood whitewashing of late?

I don't know; Jim Carey did alright, so I suppose Eddie Murphy may be able to pull it off. And yet...
Picture it.

[CAMERA ZOOMS] into a dramatic shot of GOTHAM CITY, POLICE sirens wailing in the background.

[PAN] to a bank vault, the vault door hanging precariously off the hinges. POLICE sirens grow louder, the glow clearly visible.

[CAMERA PANS LEFT, ZOOMS] onto the infamous riddler question-mark...

[NARRATOR] This season, evil has a new voice...
[QUE EDDIE MURPHEY VOICEOVER] A-HYUH-HUH A-HYUH-HUH A-HYUH-HUH-HUH!!!

Seriously.

The marketing team is doomed.

5) Shia LeBouf as Batman's Robin

Actually, this one is the least horrible. I could actually see it happening...sort of.

I love Shia as much as the next girl (An oddly large amount considering I -like countless others- sat through countless episodes of Even Stevens going "UGH WHAT A DORK.") but casting him as Robin?
Sam Witwicky sure. The next Indiana Jones I can accept. But Robin? Batman's own flamboyantly dressed mini-Me?

...

Hm. Actually, this could be kind of hot.

~JTB

The Future Husbands List

2008-12-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

The Following is a list of men I intend to marry and/or date. Aptly named, "The Future Husbands" list.

DISCLAIMER:
The alphabetical order of this list could change whenever my laziness kicks in. Probably somewhere after number one.
Names may change at my slightest whim. Don't get attached.
I speak as if I have a chance; shut up and let me enjoy my delusions.

- Chris Brown.
However, since I'm more on the Jordin Sparks end of the spectrum, and Chris is clearly into Rihanna's, this marriage would be strained at best.

- Corbin Bleu.
My pretty super intuitive mom [read: psychic in denial] mom made a wild guess that he's into White girls, which, if true poses a definite problem. I don't think he'd be overwhelmed by my 1/16/32/whatever fraction of Irish. My awesome personality might woo him though.

- Taylor Lautner.
Not Fabio-esque Twilight TL. You know, normal, choppy-spiky-hair Taylor. I thought he was cute ever since I saw him do some kick ass karate in a tournament a million years ago, back when Pluto was a planet. It's okay Chris Hansen. I can wait till he's 18.
*Does not take the cookies and lemonade, does not have a seat, does not collect 500.*

- Dante Basco.
He's actually older than he looks though. Society tends to frown upon age differences of 15 years, and since I'm not Miley Cyrus or a playboy bunny, I find it akward too. And he's engaged. :| Good luck with that Dante! Fo'srs; Bangarang.

- That kid who played Brian on Gullah Gullah Island.
What? I practically grew up with him, you know...him on TV, me on the couch watching TV... He always dressed cooler than James (and he didn't seem like he needed a dose of Ritalin like J did either.) However...I don't know what he looks like now.

- Tae Yang of Bing Bang
BUT WHY IS HE SO SHORT?!?! I'd have to invest in Prince-heels for our wedding pictures, because damn if I'd wear flats under my wedding dress.

- Lil Fizz.
Whatever. Don't act like ya'll too cool to remember B2K. Lil Fizz was the shiznit.

- Tahj Mowry.
He's gorgeous, can dance, and if smart guy is any indication (and who doesn't believe everything they see on TV?) he's smart. He can't sing though.

- Rick Gonzalez
I have a strong urge to braid his hair. Though...he pulled a Basco on me. He's 29. What kind of conspiracy is this?!?

- Rudy Youngblood
I don't care how crazy his fake teeth were in Apocalypto, he's hot. He can dance, he's an artist, and he is ridonkulously ripped (and alliteration inspiring!)And he's only 26. That's not that bad...by comparison.

- Krys "Smokey Desperado" ~~of Twilight~~ That one hilarious movie spawned from that one horrible series.
Following the trend of "made the mistake of being in Twilight but otherwise attractive actors" {I.E. Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, etc) Krys is hot. Just call me Mrs. Desperado.

- Khleo Thomas.
Well. He kind of fell off the face of the Planet after "Fresh Azimiz" and Roll Bounce so...I guess not?
1-19-09: The miracle of Gobama has brought Khleo back from fame-death. He was performing with Bow Weezy at the Disney Channel Inaguration Party <3

...That's it ATM.

~JTB

WTF UCSC?

2008-12-16T12:42:00.000-08:00

Dear University of California, Santa Cruz

What the hell?
In case you haven't noticed, I do not attend your school.
Sure, I got accepted, sure I registered, but I also emailed you, wrote you, called you, and faxed your offices to let you know that I wouldn't be going afterall.
Even after I did all of that, you still thought that I was attending the school?

My God, I know the school is an unorganized, chaotic mess of tree sitting and weed smoking, but for the Love of God, you didn't take note that I wasn't in class? Or my dorm room? I mean, come on, I helped make up your 0.02% of Black students; shouldn't you at least notice if I'm not there?

This only makes me happier that I didn't go. What if, all this time, I actually had been attending, but I tripped on a banana slug and fell down one of your many shrub laced ravines? No one would have cared I guess. Very comforting.

Why, even more comforting than that time I registered for the Black Student union sleepover week, and waited to be picked up, in the middle of a fucking hobo-infested street in the city, only to find out you weren't coming.

Even though I called the dumb trick in charge, on the phone, and asked when she'd be coming to pick me up. And she responded with "in an hour." Then, when I called her an hour and a half later, as the bus I was supposed to be on drove happily toward UCSC, she said "Oh, i had no idea there was anyone waiting in SF"

Well damn. Who'd you think you were talking to an hour ago?

The point of this letter, dear school, is to politely tell you to stop ruining my credit by charging me thousands of dollars as if I were attending your damn school.

I. Am. Not. There.

I was never attending there, I am not there now, I won't be transferring there later.

Seriously; stop ruining my credit you idiots.

~JTB

P.S. Banana slugs are a dumb mascot; you should have gone with Sea Lions while you had the chance.

Hey! I'ma Popsicle 8D

2008-12-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

IT IS FREEZING.

LIKE, "OMFG CAN'T FEEL MY FINGERS -HEY MY PINKY JUST FELL OFF" FREEZING

On another note...this video amuses me far too much.

Best. Remix. Ever.

~JT

In Which I Fail At Life

2008-12-14T23:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had a sad realization; I fail at life.

I was sitting there with my mom, both of us drinking the tea I'd made (her's was Lipton, and mine was a Moroccan grey mix from a hotel in Vegas -that said "complementary" so naturally I had two pockets worth- because I'm chic like that)

We were just chilling, watching TV when she goes: "Ew. This tea tastes like hot sweetwater."

To which I replied "Well...that's what tea is so..."

Only she'd meant the literal boiled wated and glucose taste.

I hopped up, all ready to defend the honor of my water-boiling-baggy-placing skills, only to find that the teabag was sitting on the counter....She was drinking hot water with sugar in it.This concerned my dad, who'd popped up just in time to watch the exchange.

In his words:"You know there's a problem when you can't even make tea."

I'd never make it in Culinary School.

~JT

Friggin Boys...

2008-12-14T23:23:00.000-08:00

I attract the most horrifiying, annoying, stupid males on the face of the planet.
Don't even try to argue with me, it's true.

I attract every bad type out there. The "HEY SHAWTY, WHATCHO NAME IS?" type, the pull up to you as you walk home in their scrub-mobile driving two miles an hour and ask you out without offering you a goddamn ride type, the angsty emo "no girls love me, I'm sexually unfufilled and you're a breathing female" type, hobos, ugly men, insulting men, dumb men, old "Oh God someone call Chris Hansen!" types; all of them.

If there is an aesthetically compromised, grammar disinclined individual in the TriState area, for some reason, they are inexplicably attracted to me.

I'm just lucky like that.

To me, it proves one of two things:
- I have some kind of aura that attracts these types.
Or
- That there are forces governing my life, and they love torturing me.

And I hate boys that spit. It's so gross.
They never spit quickly either, it's always a big, dangling loogey.
It doesn't make them look cute or hard or street; it makes them look like llamas. Really dumb llamas with an overactive gag reflex.

Just what are they spitting out anyway? They aren't chewing tobbacco or gum. Are their spit glands so overproductive that they have to spit at random intervals or drown themselves like turkeys?

Ew.
Honestly, to any guys out there, this I'm pretty sure this thought process goes for most girls. I don't know many chicks who see a guy spit then suddenly think Mmm, I want a piece of that.

It's usually quite the opposite.

The truth is, if you haven't mastered the art of swallowing, we are probably not interesting in dating you.

~ JT